Math Joker Gifts

"Winslow's computer must be down again."

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

Intelligent people laugh too!

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

"So a horse has 6 legs, forelegs at the front and 2 at the back?"

"Oh, him? He's the guy who changes the interest rate when it's set by the fed."

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

Party Schools...

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'The shareholders are in an uproar; they demand change. Bob, switch seats with Gerald.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

"Yes dear. But, I don't think you're actually supposed to dispose of your disposable income."

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

"EINSTEIN! Stop fooling around and pay attention...."

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

1907: Thanks to his dog, Edward Fishkopp discovers the rocket drive.

'Well, you're lousy at Maths, but I'm sure you'll become a great CEO one day...'

"Of course, I could be wrong."

"Can't hear it at all, miss."

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Say, does anyone here know how to tie a sailor's knot?"

I'm in a Beatles-inspired band with a few buddies. One guy is a software engineer who wrote a song about a lengthy, convoluted program. It's called the "The Long and Winding Code." The magazine editor wrote a song about checking articles for accuracy. It's titled "Facts Man." And there's a song by the factory foreman about sullen workers tightening nuts all day. It's call "Twist and Pout." You should do a song warning about the wordplay. We have one! The title is "Here Comes the Pun"!

'Hey - don't blame ME...it's YOUR D.N.A.'

Ed becomes fully vested in his company's retirement plan.

"Run for your lives! It's one of those sovereign wealth funds."

'Math would be more fun if we weren't always studying pyramids.'

Man trying to get to sleep by counting cloned sheep.

'As far as I'm concerned...mathematics is a load of rubbish.'

"How do we know this isn't a ponzi scheme?"

Mathematician Food Fights.