Money Jokers Gifts

When billionaires get depressed. I feel like a million bucks.

"I managed to find a healthy work-life balance, but now there's a problem with my bank balance."

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

Photobooth Photobomb

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

'I guess you could say we're a 'faith-based' company. Everyone worships the dollar around here.'

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

'The shareholders are in an uproar; they demand change. Bob, switch seats with Gerald.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

Washing Up Liquidity.

'Billy, you're embarrassing us. Please stop saying 'ka-ching, ka-ching'.'

"Day trading? What's made in a minute is lost in a second."

"Yes dear. But, I don't think you're actually supposed to dispose of your disposable income."

"It's what we agreed. I'd do the tax avoidance you'd do the tax evasion."

Santa School.

'To hell with everybody!' - 'Right on!'

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

Santa entering a pool for a swim

"I'm combing our finances for all the disposable income I keep reading we have."

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'The only way you can become a millionaire by investing in savings accounts, is to invest millions in savings accounts.'

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

"We've isolated your disease, Mrs. Grosenik. We can proceed as soon as we isolate your checkbook."

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'

'Right now I'd say our biggest asset is our credit card debt.'

'Yes...our chief analyst is recommending further investments in the new year.'

The Tooth Accountant

Ed becomes fully vested in his company's retirement plan.

Pinata Pranks

"Run for your lives! It's one of those sovereign wealth funds."