Money Mocker Gifts

'Leave me the figures on my voicemail... I never check it.'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

'Every man has his price, Peterson. I've decided yours is £2.75.'

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

Mismanagement Consultant.

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

Mountain escalator.

'Of course we're making a lot of mistakes - this is a dummy corporation.'

'Please, sir -- I appeal to your common humanity!'

"I like your paperweight, Watkins..."

Earplugs £2 a Pair

"I didn't mind the moustache, Cosgrove, But we definitely have a 'No mustachio' policy."

Fishermen catch a fish paint a 'No Fishing' sign.

Memo to all departments: NO!

"Just you wait until this firing freeze is over!"

'Motivational poster,'

Members only.

"So help me, Henderson, if you sing 'Row Row Row Your Boat' one more time..."

'The lack of money is the root of all evil.'

'The cross doesn't affect him. Let's try with a Star of David.'

When billionaires get depressed. I feel like a million bucks.

Of all the days to sleep in!

'Hmm...needs refining.'

'The reality is, if you should go on one of those shows, I doubt that TV viewers would accept you any better than I do!'

"Being rich means a girl might like you only for your money."

'Hello, Mr Busino. I understand you're suffering from some drug side effects.'

'You can't fire me. I fired you.'

Jesus' bones.