Money Joker Gifts

"Yes dear. But, I don't think you're actually supposed to dispose of your disposable income."

"I managed to find a healthy work-life balance, but now there's a problem with my bank balance."

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

"Hate to see you leave, Dave...especially since it was just last week that I learned you worked for me."

Happy New Year...we feel a little overtime won't hurt you.

"Oh, him? He's the guy who changes the interest rate when it's set by the fed."

'I guess you could say we're a 'faith-based' company. Everyone worships the dollar around here.'

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

'Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury.'

Just a little heads up!

"I can always tell a permanent temp from a temporary temp."

"We've got a new financial advisor. I asked him how to cut down on out of pocket expenses and he said to stop wearing clothes with pockets."

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'The shareholders are in an uproar; they demand change. Bob, switch seats with Gerald.'

'Billy, you're embarrassing us. Please stop saying 'ka-ching, ka-ching'.'

Washing Up Liquidity.

"Day trading? What's made in a minute is lost in a second."

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

"Tell me more about Armageddon. I think it may have potential as an exchange-traded fund."

"I'm sorry, but I assumed it was a fancy dress costume..."

'To hell with everybody!' - 'Right on!'

"It's what we agreed. I'd do the tax avoidance you'd do the tax evasion."

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

'There's been no confirmation, but the possible merger of two giants has sent stock prices soaring.'

"I'm combing our finances for all the disposable income I keep reading we have."

'I suppose a loan to send them to summer camp could be called a home improvement loan.'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

'Me? I'm just visiting from the company next door.'

Software for the small businessman