Wealthy Joker Gifts

'You know, Tom...Even after getting million dollar bonuses I can still enjoy the small things in life! Like stealing lunches from the staff fridge.'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!

Note Book

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

"See how it feels"

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

Happy New Year...we feel a little overtime won't hurt you.

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

'Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury.'

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

Here lies BoBo the Clown

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

"We've got a new financial advisor. I asked him how to cut down on out of pocket expenses and he said to stop wearing clothes with pockets."

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

Toilet humour

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'The shareholders are in an uproar; they demand change. Bob, switch seats with Gerald.'

No infrastructure problem here

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

A clown & his clone.

'The test results are in. We've ruled out anything cheap.'

"Tell me more about Armageddon. I think it may have potential as an exchange-traded fund."

'A room with double beds, please.'