Bookish Joker Gifts

Librarians and the Karma Sutra

Discount Books: Meet the Janitor 6-8 PM.

Note Book

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

'Hard to follow...'

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

Book Worm

Happy New Year...we feel a little overtime won't hurt you.

"See how it feels"

"Out, damn'd Spot, out I say! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

'The most moving part, for me, is when they explain how to fuse the main pipe to the power hose.'

'Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury.'

"What a success! We've sold all our copies. You're a great team! Let's go for beer, pizza and crisps - my treat!"

N't. Dear, we're commas. Get down here before you get hurt.

Keats's heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains his sense.

'Good book?'

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

'You again? OK, pal... I'm deleting you and this time you're going to stay deleted!' ~ the screen saver of Dorian Gray.

Skywriter's Block

Meet The Ghostwriter

Scene from an early draft of Moby Dick

Larry's Literary Market.

'I want something by Anais Nin... but not the naughty Anais Nin!'

"I didn't learn anything in school today but I'll learn twice as much tomorrow."

Hiker's right of way.

'Oooh, man... I meant to express that as an interior monologue!' ~ Fred, left to his own literary devices.

'There's been no confirmation, but the possible merger of two giants has sent stock prices soaring.'

''IQ'? -- I thought this was a haiku test!'

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

Software for the small businessman

'Egg toss, I thought this was the water balloon toss?'

'Me? I'm just visiting from the company next door.'

"Books about unicorns? Fantasy section. Next to the biographies of honest politicians."