Math Mockers Gifts

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

Computation Lite, 13 Computations Than Our Regular Formulas.

"My homework? It was super easy today. I drew a dragon and daddy did Math."

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'Generics of generics - that's the way we'll go.'

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

With the aid of an abacus, Elizabeth Barrett Browning counts the ways.

The geometry of everyday life

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

"Some consider me the Pollock of calculus."

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

'My husband always loves your Poisson distribution - it's something to do with being a mathematician.'

"Is x the wrong angle?"

"You know what we call a number that won't sit still?"

Figure of Eight

Hexagon.

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

'...based on the premise that 6X3=47...'

"I just couldn't conjure up the answers."

Calculator Jokes

"Actually, Dad, the 'D' in math is from when you helped me with my homework."

"Today we're going to be studying factions."

Pythagoras Revisited

The Innumerate Seven

'I see the problem, Gibson- you forgot to borrow from your neighbor there in step 3.'