Math Mockers Gifts

'As far as I'm concerned...mathematics is a load of rubbish.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

Computation Lite, 13 Computations Than Our Regular Formulas.

"My homework? It was super easy today. I drew a dragon and daddy did Math."

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

The geometry of everyday life

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

With the aid of an abacus, Elizabeth Barrett Browning counts the ways.

'Generics of generics - that's the way we'll go.'

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

'We're going to need a bigger basket.'

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

"EINSTEIN! Stop fooling around and pay attention...."

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

"Some consider me the Pollock of calculus."

'My husband always loves your Poisson distribution - it's something to do with being a mathematician.'

Hexagon.

"Is x the wrong angle?"

"You know what we call a number that won't sit still?"

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

Figure of Eight

Hillary's New Math

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

"I just couldn't conjure up the answers."

Psychiatric Clinic. Take a Number. 27. "Take a number"? --- But I have math anxiety.

Calculator Jokes

'...based on the premise that 6X3=47...'

Mathematician Food Fights.

"Today we're going to be studying factions."

The Broken Clock That Is Wrong Twice A Day

'I see the problem, Gibson- you forgot to borrow from your neighbor there in step 3.'

The Innumerate Seven