Math Pranksters Gifts

Calculator Jokes

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

'ANOTHER Shakespeare play?!! Look, all we wanted was the user manual for a sandwich maker.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

"I absolutely guarantee your workloads will not increase."

"I trust him - he has a science background."

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

'I hate 'bring your inner child to work day.''

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

"Not that it's right, but I understand. I was young once and used to sneak out to do crop circle, too."

Tartar sauce.

Homework Done and Homework Eaten Stands.

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

'The mysteries of hyena laughter deciphered.'

"You ghosts are pretty cool. I wish I could be more like you..."

A clown is walking a balloon dog. He is pretending it is weeing on a fire hydrant.

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

"It's dress down day!"

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

Back to the Holidays

Monkey dropping apples on Newton's head.

'Oh yeah, ths boss is going to love the new hire.'

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

"I'm in here...reallocating Dad's retirement account into junk bonds."

'Your request for a company vehicle has been approved, however, it's not the Cadillac you wanted. Since you need the exercise, you're getting a skateboard.'