Math Pranksters Pillows

Calculator Jokes

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

'ANOTHER Shakespeare play?!! Look, all we wanted was the user manual for a sandwich maker.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"I absolutely guarantee your workloads will not increase."

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

ABC Diapers. Comfy Tushy Diapers. Now 3 times more absorbent! Note to self: Drink 4 times more juice.

At Lego corporate headquarters.

"I trust him - he has a science background."

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

Tartar sauce.

"Not that it's right, but I understand. I was young once and used to sneak out to do crop circle, too."

'I hate 'bring your inner child to work day.''

Homework Done and Homework Eaten Stands.

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

"You ghosts are pretty cool. I wish I could be more like you..."

Astronomers studying the 26 moons of Uranus...

Back to the Holidays

"I think we both know who did it...."

Monkey dropping apples on Newton's head.

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

'The mysteries of hyena laughter deciphered.'

A clown is walking a balloon dog. He is pretending it is weeing on a fire hydrant.

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

"It's dress down day!"

'Oh yeah, ths boss is going to love the new hire.'

"I'm in here...reallocating Dad's retirement account into junk bonds."