Mystic Mockers Gifts

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

The Adventures of God

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"Apparently Wilbur hasn't gotten that raise. He's still hamming it up for the boss."

'Generics of generics - that's the way we'll go.'

'I see you're not wearing clean underpants.'

"Vous voyez quoi pour l'avenir de l'humanité?"

Man asking lady if she cares for him

"You want to know what kind of criticism of Israeli politics I consider anti-semitic?"

"How dare you!"

Two Years into a Trump Presidency...

"Atlas! We require a small sample."

'Why don't we wear business suits and call ourselves marketing executives? We could make a lot more money.'

Nobody was really sure why the deceased spirit kept spelling out the word 'soapdish'.

"The best spell is sneezing."

'What do you mean, closed due to unforeseen circumstances?'

Madam Zelta foresees all.

"You were a schlub in all of your previous lives, too."

'The job was as good as mine. But when they asked where I saw myself in five years, I didn't know.'

'Levitation my foot! - He's got a TRAMPOLINE over there!'

DESIRE: THE PRODUCT LINE.

'Hmm...needs refining.'

"I could see finding him a cool guy if I wasn't married to him."

'I'd like to apologize if my remarks have offended anybody, or if any remarks I may make in the future ever DO offend anybody.'

Yoga Trash Talk

Under new management.

"I'd like to alter my vows...I want to say 'Til death, or a better prospect comes along, do we part."

'No news from the after-world. He must not have gotten there yet.'

Madame Olga. Franchised by Mega-Forecasts Inc.

"I've never seen anything quite like this before. There's nothing there...just a blackness...a void."

'Do you think this apeing of the opposition will go down well in the country?'

Hague Convention Defied! Repelling an Assault of Flu Germs

"I am enclosing my tax returns for 2002 / 2003, 2003 / 2004 .. "