Match Day Worrier Pillows

'Don't mind her...I brought along my grief counsellor just in case.'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Rugby Players and Supporters Essential Supplies

The commentators want to run the officials...

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

Football supporters.

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

'We're in a hurry.'

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

Ref shows footballer green card.

"You are working, I trust!"

'Let's buy the one that has the game on it.'

'Not watching this,are you luv?'

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

"Damn! Trust me to get a seat behind the umpire!"

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

'Look - if you're not going to watch the match, you might as well have stayed at home and gawped at yourself in the mirror!'

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

Footballer.

A football fan chews a football as his team concedes.

"I promised I'd bring him - he could never afford to come when he was alive."

"Buona Sera, Mrs. Johnson! You ordered two pizzas. That's £18!"

'I know it's an early kick off but this is ridiculous!'

A typical Newcastle fan.

"What sports fan are you?"

Football players walk onto the pitch holding childrens' hands, who are holding rag dolls.