Matchday Madness Pillows

Football slave

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Tennis ball girl.

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

The Rugby Throw Up.

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

'We're in a hurry.'

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

Ref shows footballer green card.

'Not watching this,are you luv?'

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

"Damn! Trust me to get a seat behind the umpire!"

Bowled out.

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

Footballer.

A football fan chews a football as his team concedes.

'I know it's an early kick off but this is ridiculous!'

"Buona Sera, Mrs. Johnson! You ordered two pizzas. That's £18!"

'Structural strength test? Next door!'

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

A typical Newcastle fan.

Football today

'Don't mind her...I brought along my grief counsellor just in case.'

Football Applause

'These oxygen tanks go with your tickets. Where you're sitting, you'll need them.'

'There it goes, there it goes, there it goes...'