Matchday Pillows

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Rugby Players and Supporters Essential Supplies

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

'But Mum, I've got a match after school...'

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

'We're in a hurry.'

'He does what he wants - I blame that new manager, Mourinho!'

'Oh come on, I'm sure she'll still be there after Match of the Day's finished...'

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

Ref shows footballer green card.

"If the packers lose I'll eat my hat."

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

"I promised I'd bring him - he could never afford to come when he was alive."

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

'Structural strength test? Next door!'

'I know it's an early kick off but this is ridiculous!'

Footballer.

"Buona Sera, Mrs. Johnson! You ordered two pizzas. That's £18!"

Woman with CS Gas while man watches football - "This is for if there's any crowd trouble."

A typical Newcastle fan.

'Right, we'll take the shallow end.'

'Yes, he was there his afternoon - that's his balloon floating in the penalty area.'

'These oxygen tanks go with your tickets. Where you're sitting, you'll need them.'

Football Applause

'There it goes, there it goes, there it goes...'

Loudspeaker announces fans' derogatory chant.

Football today

"What sports fan are you?"

'Early evening kick-off for the Gunners, is it, Henderson?'

'Goodness me referee one really must question your visual acuity.'

Football players walk onto the pitch holding childrens' hands, who are holding rag dolls.