Matchday Organizer Pillows

'Structural strength test? Next door!'

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Rugby Players and Supporters Essential Supplies

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

'But Mum, I've got a match after school...'

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

'We're in a hurry.'

Ref shows footballer green card.

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

Footballer.

"I promised I'd bring him - he could never afford to come when he was alive."

"Buona Sera, Mrs. Johnson! You ordered two pizzas. That's £18!"

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

'I know it's an early kick off but this is ridiculous!'

A typical Newcastle fan.

"Wait, is this a playdate?"

'There it goes, there it goes, there it goes...'

“Worst. Playdate. Ever.”

'Yes, he was there his afternoon - that's his balloon floating in the penalty area.'

Football today

Football Applause

'These oxygen tanks go with your tickets. Where you're sitting, you'll need them.'

"What sports fan are you?"

Football players walk onto the pitch holding childrens' hands, who are holding rag dolls.

We interrupt this game because our sponsor has just filed for bankruptcy.

'I thought I would never find a place to park, dear.'