Matchday Multitasker Pillows

A football fan is distracted from cooking by a goal.

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"Excuse me a moment, whilst I just change hats."

"I love my new tie! I'll wear it to work tomorrow." "The report'll be done shortly." "Excellent!"

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

Creative entrepreneur at work

'I suppose you realize that when I tell everyone back at the office about this you wont be able to tele-commute anymore.'

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

Overloaded with extracurricular activities, Griffin's body began to grow an extra brain to cope with it all.

'I caught him watching tv, surfing the net, and playing video games ..book him!'

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

Are you nodding yes, or nodding off?

'It's an audio book: I'm too busy to read books...'

Homeschooling

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

"These days I do a little sub-editing on the side too!"

Having It All

"Everything I needed to know I learned from my mother - but I usually follow up with a YouTube video for verification purposes."

In the great green room there was a pot of coffee and a red-eyed dad, too. Good Morning Moon.

The Swiss Arm-y Wife

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

"Hey. Where the hell's my harmonica?"

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

"What?!"

'He does what he wants - I blame that new manager, Mourinho!'

'Oh come on, I'm sure she'll still be there after Match of the Day's finished...'

'Who's gonna tell her she's wearing two different shoes?'

'So you could say 'I'm wearing two hats'.'