The Musical Multitasker Pillows

'Technical Support. While you're on hold for the next hour, press 1 if you would like to listen to New Age Music, press 2 If you would like to listen to rap, press 3 If you would like to listen to country, press 4... '

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

"I'll have to put you on hold. I have a bite on the other line."

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

Creative entrepreneur at work

'I suppose you realize that when I tell everyone back at the office about this you wont be able to tele-commute anymore.'

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

'I caught him watching tv, surfing the net, and playing video games ..book him!'

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

Magic coat fixing problems while walking the dog.

'The 'Business Man's Lunch?' The chicken salad comes served in a laptop.'

Homeschooling

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

'It's an audio book: I'm too busy to read books...'

Having It All

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

"These days I do a little sub-editing on the side too!"

"Everything I needed to know I learned from my mother - but I usually follow up with a YouTube video for verification purposes."

"Hey. Where the hell's my harmonica?"

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

"What?!"

'Who's gonna tell her she's wearing two different shoes?'

'I'm a communication expert because I can eat crisps, drink beer, read the news and talk to my wife while watching TV!'

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

'So you could say 'I'm wearing two hats'.'