Professional Multitasker Pillows

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

"Relax warrior, it's not the weekend."

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

Out and In.

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

Hassled Mother.

"I'll have to put you on hold. I have a bite on the other line."

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

Studying and technology

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

Homeschooling

"When you have my schedule, you need large sticky notes."

'It's an audio book: I'm too busy to read books...'

"You wouldn't believe how many patients he sees in a single day!"

Having It All

"These days I do a little sub-editing on the side too!"

Multitasking

"What?!"

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

'I juggle a family, a career, and three cell phones.'

'Who's gonna tell her she's wearing two different shoes?'

'So you could say 'I'm wearing two hats'.'

'I'm a communication expert because I can eat crisps, drink beer, read the news and talk to my wife while watching TV!'

"Why am I a nurse? In my former lives I was a mind-reader, a juggler and a scribe."