Tech Multitasker Pillows

'Would you mind holding my printer, my other phone is ringing!'

"Are you O.K.? You're barely paying attention to your book, phone, show, laptop, and the crossword you started ten minutes ago."

'I'll call you back. I'm sleepwalking!'

"Can I get back to you? I'm eliminating toxins."

"Hurry up, Al. I gotta pee."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

Hassled Mother.

"I'll have to put you on hold. I have a bite on the other line."

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

Magic coat fixing problems while walking the dog.

Studying and technology

'It's an audio book: I'm too busy to read books...'

Homeschooling

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

"You wouldn't believe how many patients he sees in a single day!"

Having It All

"These days I do a little sub-editing on the side too!"

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

"What?!"

"Everything I needed to know I learned from my mother - but I usually follow up with a YouTube video for verification purposes."

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

'Who's gonna tell her she's wearing two different shoes?'

"She has perfected her micro-nap to look as though she is thinking."

'So you could say 'I'm wearing two hats'.'

'I'm a communication expert because I can eat crisps, drink beer, read the news and talk to my wife while watching TV!'

Stroller Cellphone