Matchday Muncher Pillows

'He does what he wants - I blame that new manager, Mourinho!'

Football today

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Full English Breakfast.

Beer Order

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

'Oh come on, I'm sure she'll still be there after Match of the Day's finished...'

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

Munch Master.

Ref shows footballer green card.

"If the packers lose I'll eat my hat."

Pizza and Related Searches.

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

'Not watching this,are you luv?'

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

Cake!

A football fan chews a football as his team concedes.

'Structural strength test? Next door!'

Motivation

"You asked for runny!"

'I know it's an early kick off but this is ridiculous!'

'Hello, Room Service? Send up the works!'

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your willpower is?'

A typical Newcastle fan.

'There it goes, there it goes, there it goes...'

'Leftovers...! Leftovers!'

'I'm highly motivated to diet. Unfortunately I'm more motivated to eat.'

His condition is known as Insom-nom-nom-nom-nia.

"I don't care what's first, the chicken or the egg, fetch me some breakfast!"