Match Day Muncher Pillows

'Not watching this,are you luv?'

A football fan chews a football as his team concedes.

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Full English Breakfast.

Beer Order

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

Football supporters.

'But Mum, I've got a match after school...'

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

'We're in a hurry.'

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

Munch Master.

"You are working, I trust!"

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

Pizza and Related Searches.

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

Bowled out.

"You asked for runny!"

"Buona Sera, Mrs. Johnson! You ordered two pizzas. That's £18!"

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

Footballer.