Masterpiece Roaster Gifts

Trash-talkin' artists

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Well....I could've done this!"

Marshmallows

battered artist has painted picture of falling bomb.

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

Raphael

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

You're the sizzle in my roast!

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Patissier

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

The lesser known active volcanoes.

"Really? You mean you’ve never smoked a joint?"

The Burning Bush: How God convinced Moses to Lead His people a.k.a. the origin of s'mores.

Masterpiece?

"Don't worry...the national immigrant work stoppage does not include our kitchen."

Chicken

Emergency box in woods contains supplies for a campfire.

Marshmallow Roast

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"Richard P. Ruggles—a man and his mantelpiece."

"But is it art?"

"It's too good. I think it's going to be a forgery, not just a copy."

"For God's sake, Michelangelo, it's just a cookie!"

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

"No, wait. I always get this mixed up. The manet was five point nine. The Monet was three flat."

Christo's greatest challenge.