Masterpiece Maven Gifts

"No, wait. I always get this mixed up. The manet was five point nine. The Monet was three flat."

"You're right, it does play with light and shadow while upending conventions of abstraction, but you're still under arrest."

'He's good, but he's no Monet.'

"This would look great on out wall. . . when it's finished!"

Masterpiece?

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

Muscles

Instructional guide to scribbling

"Ninja bread men"

battered artist has painted picture of falling bomb.

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Myths and legends...

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

"Like that?"

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

Raphael

'Wow, talk about genius!'

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"This is off our first TikTok."

Upper West Side Story

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'Ok, who's been playing rap music in front of the bird?!'

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

Boarway Show

"Is that all you can say - 'It's not messy'?"