Masterpiece Chaser Gifts

"Hoping to find a Picasso at a garage sale isn't a solid retirement plan."

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

battered artist has painted picture of falling bomb.

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

Breakthrough

Raphael

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

'I'm stressed: My dad was a champion, my mum was a champion, there's a lot of pressure on me to become a champion...'

Trash-talkin' artists

"I didn't plagiarize. My muse must have."

"It's the poet in him trying to get out."

"I can be perfect for only one hour a day."

A dog banging a snare drum.

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"Quit moving"

"It's too good. I think it's going to be a forgery, not just a copy."

Higgs Boson particles at a training session: "Geneva is a no-fly zone."

'We don't know HOW to surf - Can't you part the sea or something?'

Christo's greatest challenge.

Cosmic Ray

"Congratulations Fergueson. I admire a man who'd rather beat his boss at golf, than get a big fat promotion."

'How can you claim we lead the good life when we don't even have a brass toilet paper dispenser?'

Dachshund Chasing a Stretch Limousine

'This is the museum's vault of 'Mislaid Masterpieces' which we 'come across quite by chance' from time to time.'

A bomber dropping paintings "Art Bombing"

'If you want me to mount you 22-pound bass you've got to let go of it.'

"I wish I could do hands..."