Master Of Distraction Pillows

"It's pretty slow here. Can you call back when I'm busy?"

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

Pizza time.

"I figured my stress ball should match the size of my anxiety."

"You think you have problems? My entire wing command was just destroyed."

Could I have a minute of your valuable time, Timpson?

"Some days, no matter how much you procrastinate, work still gets done."

'Doctor says I've got an enlarged procrastinate.'

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

'Never put off till tomorrow something you can put off till the day after tomorrow...'

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum.'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

"For the last time - do not call me when I'm pretending to work."

"Congratulations on your entertaining presentation skills Smith, and the way they hide your dismal sales figures!"

Houdini's infancy.

Wendel enjoyed magic school but he was having a little trouble in his trickonometry class.

The Procrastinatorium.

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

"Who would've thought Ms. Marcus had so little sense of humor?"

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

Procrastinator's Leap.

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

'I was just, er, conserving energy.'

REPORT CARD, 'This is going to be tough to spin.'

"I always put things off until the last minute."

'When someone asks where you work, what do you tell them?'

'He was right at his desk a moment ago.'

Magician conjures up a crocodile and is chased by it

"Uh, it's the funniest thing honey... None of my power tools seem to work! I guess those projects will have to wait..."

'Andy, I want you to put on this clown outfit and hand out balloons today.'

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'