King Of Distractions Pillows

"For the last time - do not call me when I'm pretending to work."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

Guru.

Could I have a minute of your valuable time, Timpson?

"You think you have problems? My entire wing command was just destroyed."

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

"Congratulations on your entertaining presentation skills Smith, and the way they hide your dismal sales figures!"

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

"I reached Level Three of Super Mario Brothers!"

"I'm just saying, if you had to turn off the TV, would you still remember how?"

Procrastinator's Leap.

"I believe this will be an adequate busy look."

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

"This isn't really helping."

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

'Thanks for inviting me to go fishing, Ted. With hunting season over I was running out of ways to avoid working around the house!'

Diving Judge: Sorry, I Was Looking At My Phone.

Ned stepped out of the office for a little texting, tweeting, status updating and general web surfing...hours later his GPS app placed him deep in the woods.

"I'll now show the doodles form the last committee meeting."

'I'm busy flinging birds at pigs, go away.'

"I am doing my homework, but it's hard not to get distracted in this click-bait media environment."

'What's procrastination?'

"How do you spell 'procrastination'?"

Facebook - You have 17 requests to get on with your work.

'The doctor will see you shortly. He has a few hundred email jokes he has to forward.'

"If the universe wanted us to be productive it wouldn't have given us social media."

"Hang on...I think you're losing me."

"I couldn't retire. I wouldn't know what to do with myself."

"My husband fell into the bear enclosure! I threw my phone down there. I think it bought him some time."