Desk Distraction Aficionado Pillows

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

'Relax, dad, I haven't been in a classroom for months because all my college classes are online!'

Could I have a minute of your valuable time, Timpson?

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

'Wow, my own desk!'

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

Office Competitions

"In"

Working Vacation.

"I'm sure you do spend all your time here at the office, but could you please stop having your mail delivered here?"

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT.

"For the last time - do not call me when I'm pretending to work."

Cow with Hay In Tray and Milk Out Tray.

'Let's just say it's a token of my esteem to be prominently displayed on your desk.'

'My life is around here somewhere.'

"I'm just saying, if you had to turn off the TV, would you still remember how?"

Inbox, Outbox, and Down & Out Box.

"He seized the day again. Now how do we get it back?"

Out and In.

'Well, that's a helluva great business plan... What have you done before you founded a management consultancy, Mr... umh... Smith?'

101 uses of a dead cat: desk spike

"Don't forget to torch the place when you leave."

"Ah, I like to see a man immerse himself in his work."

"Actually the salary isn't important. . . I just need a desk to rest my feet on."

The longer you work with some people, the more they can annoy you..just by being there.

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

'I'm afraid that we can't insure you. Our records indicate that you only have one life left'

'Well, we were told he has a penchant for micro managing

"I'm a little worried about that non-executive director we chose."

'Better call me Sir in the office dear - I don't want the staff to know that I send my wife out to work...'