Master Daters Pillows

A bore of batchelors

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Today's love

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

"You never seem to hear a word I say to you!"

'Let's do lunch.'

"You new personality that you downloaded off the Internet makes you irresistible."

"Wow! That guy is REALLY good at 'Speed Dating!'"

Online Dating for Dummies

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

I'm looking at photos of potential dates here. Your "screening" process.

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

'We were matched by computer.'

"Love me, Tinder; love me, do. . ."

"Nothing - he's ghosting you."

Church Drive-Thru.

Cupid gives up trying to get cell phone-using couple together.

'How are Rod and Cindy getting on?' 'Like a house on fire!'

"I'm so shallow."

Are you sure that's not your age?

"It's over between us Brian. . . as soon as I've announced it on twitter."

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

I'm thinking that for our first date, we should go to the "please touch" museum

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

Christian Speed Dating

"Rayna, will you be my girlfriend?"

Speed Dating