Out-of-this-world Daters Pillows

"This is my first date with a tri-sexual."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

Waterfall of Disappointment

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

You looked different during our video chat.

"You're right. This is better than sex."

Spud dating.

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

Cupid gives up trying to get cell phone-using couple together.

Florist. You're taking your new girlfriend to the aviary for Valentine's Day? Yes -- It's a cheap date.

Computer dating.

"It's another letter from Mr. Wentworth. He writes, 'You up?' and then there are some pictures of a smiley face and an eggplant."

Ventrilamatch.com

Valentines Day.

I'd like you to meet my parents. They're always complaining that I'm too picky about the men I date.

"We need to text about our relationship."

What star sign are you, let me guess...libra?

"She'll be down in a minute. She's still charging."

"Actually, I'm not long back on the dating scene myself."

"Been lookin' for love in all the wrong carnivals."

"I'm sorry Tim, but our online profiles aren't compatible anymore!"

"I've never dated a yam before, tell me a bit about yourself."

"Yeah sure I know Santa."

"We were two ships that passed in the night for a couple of nights in a row."

'Hand me your issue of esquire. I have a hot date.'

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

Will pull fire alarm so you can ditch your online date.

'It's been nice meeting you, Brian, but can we go back to having a virtual relationship?'

Someone need to set Adam straight on why Eve's there. He keeps calling her "Bachelorette No. 1".

'Do you always dress like this on the first date?'

Cyber Sex

'He's perfect. We have loads of the same apps.'