Mass Transit Tactician Gifts

Stout man on a crowded bus

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

'What a control freak!'

Safest Airline in The World

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

"3 ounce liquids! Get your 3 ounce liquids here! Approved and ready for screening! 3 ounce liquids!"

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

The bus home.

Cars with cycles on roof are overtaken by cyclist with car on his back.

'Is this the narrow gauge track or a standard gauge track?'

"I've got a rare, front-row parking spot. I know I can't stay here during the holidays, but I'm allowed to dream."

Boat towing dinghy, balloon towing small balloon.

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

Driver under frustration - no parking, speed humps, speed cameras and petrol price signs.

"O.K., O.K., let's take the F.D.R."

A subway train waits with people at the tracks.

Using a runner to pull a tooth.

'Sorry, the bag boy's down with the flu,'

"Well, you shouted come on the five dog!"

You can only get hit from the rear!

"The smart car's gone without me!"

Horse racing is the only sport where a 3 year old can make an adult behave like a baby!

Text/Subtext Message

"I like the look of this steamer in the 2.30."

Shoot, I need to get over a lane.