Masked Humorist Gifts

"With whom am I having this meaningful relationship?"

I like when they leave something to the imagination.

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

"Did you get my tweet?"

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

"She looks just like in your photos."

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

"I'm Rapunzel. You want Juliet – next tower over."

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

Advertising on the internet.

Twitter that!

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Facebook For Dogs.

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

"Google gets thousands of requests each day to erase links. Most of them seem to go back to my website."

I've founded my own religion. Of course you have, Rudy. It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths. If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted. What are the central tenets of your religion? A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation.

"Just right click, save as, and now you own the complete works of William Shakespeare."

"The internet without cat pictures? No way! Make a realistic wish like peace on earth, justice for all, everlasting life, sane politicians..."

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

"There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Lol. Winky face."

"It's great the way that computer algorithms allow the internet to feed me with opinions that reinforce the ones I've already got - all on my phone!"

Bloke orders a pizza as Jesus divides the loafs and fishes

Multiple personalities with blogs.

You've got snail.

"Is that a finger?"

"Do NOT refresh this page."

"This hilarious prank of yours is gonna go viral. This is a prank isn't it, Phil?"

"I sell them for Website names."

"No, it wasn't a typo on my profile site...I really am a nillionaire."

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