Masked Humorist Pillows

"With whom am I having this meaningful relationship?"

"Did you get my tweet?"

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

"She looks just like in your photos."

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

"I'm Rapunzel. You want Juliet – next tower over."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

Advertising on the internet.

Facebook For Dogs.

"Just right click, save as, and now you own the complete works of William Shakespeare."

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

"There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Lol. Winky face."

"The internet without cat pictures? No way! Make a realistic wish like peace on earth, justice for all, everlasting life, sane politicians..."

"It's great the way that computer algorithms allow the internet to feed me with opinions that reinforce the ones I've already got - all on my phone!"

Bloke orders a pizza as Jesus divides the loafs and fishes

Multiple personalities with blogs.

You've got snail.

"I sell them for Website names."

"No, it wasn't a typo on my profile site...I really am a nillionaire."

"Do NOT refresh this page."

"Is that a finger?"

"Can you keep a secret?"

"...and for your part in the computer fraud I sentence you to eighteen months @www.hermajestiesprison.co.uk"