Martial Arts Comedian Gifts

Martial Arts

"Extreme miming"

Women's Martial Arts Center

"How should we divide the teams?"

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

Fast Food Dieter

Easy chair exercise machines

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

"Three more classes and I get my belt."

'If they don't laugh, we'll say it's art.'

"Previously on..."

"Damn speed hump!"

Monet At Open Mic Night

"Now on the count of three, each of you will turn, aim, and fire, all the while keeping your core engaged.

"They call you Abominable and me a monster, and they don't even know us."

John Cleese

Ye Olde FIgure-Drawing Classe

'You paint abstract, why do I need to be nude?'

How NOT to solve the problem of 'floating elbow' in your taiji

I love hockey!

'Anyone want to learn how to do a leg sweep? How about a roundhouse kick? it's ok, your parents know who I am!'

Heimlich's other lesser known maneuver.

"Coronavirus protection?"

'That was strike three, Caldwell! Let him go! You're only make things harder on yourself!'

"I'm hoping that once we enter the Bronze Age I'll be able to get a better likeness of you."

'You carry on to those machines. I'll stay here with this one.'

"Done already?" "Yeah. I'd hate to get too sexy. I don't want to distract the airplanes flying overhead."

Predatory Loan Corp.

"I don't lift weights. I got this way because I wipe down the equipment really, really hard."

Do you want to see my karate chop?

'Reminds me of my first wife - finds it hard to let go...'

Eggskimos: Eskimos in the form of Eggs.

'I know I'd be a better putter if I could see the ball!'

The Hand Puppet's Dinner

"You're closing a door. No, wait. You're pulling something. . . You've strained a muscle in your arm, in your back, in your leg?"