Marriage Misadventure Seeker Gifts

'I was cutting the wedding cake, and somehow, the knife ended up in the groom.'

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

"Boy, I hope we never end up like this."

"I'm sure he said to meet him near the cactus."

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

'There you go again...constantly snagging!'

"We didn't spend much time together when we first got married, so we're making up for lost time. We now have a date night 300 days a year."

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

"At least you don't have a needy husband and an angry dog."

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

"Doc, she and I just don't understand each other any more...it's like we have different operating systems!"

"I once mistakenly thought I was dating someone for a whole month because I couldn't tell his texts were sarcastic."

'We tried living together, but that didn't work so we've decided to get married.'

Welcome to the lower grade concert. We will premiere an avant garde song cycle with unexpected solos, parts of melodies that may seem vaguely familiar and musicians who leave the stage for no apparent reason. Enjoy!

'It's nice to see that some marriages really are made in heaven.'

'Well yes, I did ask for someone with a sense of humor.'

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

"This guy has no idea what he's doing."

"Actually, that doesn't constitute a crime; but I do hope your wife returns your hopes and dreams."

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'Hello Darling, I am on the bed with the window cleaner.'

'I thought the car was amphibious!'

'No, you can't speak to my husband. He's sitting on the naughty step.'

'I can't let you catch me - you need the exercise more than you need sex!'

She's a little too friendly.

'Look, can't you take it in turns to do the daily Sudoku?'

Though Mary's date puts her to sleep, she's saved by her airbag.

"It's a parking ticket, madam. The prosecution doesn't need you to testify against your husband."

'You forgot our anniversary, but you remember his birthday?'

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

'When you said 'arriving by Amazon' - I thought you meant the bleedin' tickets.'

Gilligan's Elevator.

A hunter shoots what he thinks is a bird, but turns out to be a big 'm'.

'Well, I heard he was a player.'