Marriage Comic Collector Gifts

'...And I don't appreciate you reading that paper when I'm trying to nag you.'

"His body washed up in the tub."

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

I love you too, dear... But can we maybe take a night off from spooning?

'Actually thursday'll be a perfect time to come by Penny. That way you'll finally get the chance to meet my other half.'

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

'My wife! The therapist we hired to help us reinvigorate our marriage!'

Vicar tells bride, 'We can't go on meeting like this'.

'You're becoming so distant, Els!'

'Wait...if you leave me, can I come too?'

'We're doing so well together: What do you think of me becoming monogamous?'

"If you two lovebirds could wrap it up I'd like to pee there please and thank you."

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

'My wife thinks it was a cheap, sordid affair, but she's wrong. The motel cost me fifty dollars and I spent another twenty on the vibrating bed!'

"They're a very forward thinking couple. He gathers and she hunts."

"Until the weapons of mass destruction are found."

"I just called you over the intercom to tell you your wife's here. Sir?"

'I'm sorry, Marvin, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

'Your wife phones to say you left the toilet seat up in the bathroom again sir!'

'Give me a hand, you big lug -- I can't make breakfast all by MYSELF!'

"I know you're upset and you're giving me the silent treatment. Thank you."

'I had a really sexy videotape, but I can't show it to you. My wife taped our wedding over it.'

"This is my husband. He's a rescue."

"Oh, great... they say they all have headaches."

"Yes, I would love to come out for a drink with the lads, but I don't think my wife is too keen."

'After 40 years of marriage, Claude, your eternal optimism is starting to wear a little thin.'

'And do you, Larry, promise to love, honor and remember Helene's name?'

'My wife ran off with a Greek fisherman, but I got his cap!'

'Hi, Honey. Just calling to tell you Ted and I are going to split a beer and then I'll be right home.'

"Just leave the hat on and maybe my parents won't notice."

"Hold on, he hasn't signed my pre-nuptial yet."

"I knew something was wrong when you didn't complain about my cooking."

"You knew I was grounds for divorce when you married me."