Marriage Challenge Gifts

"My wife has been walking five miles a day. I think she's somewhere in the middle of Pennsylvania now."

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'I told my wife she had to choose between me and that precious boat of her's. She called my bluff. Can I sleep on your couch?'

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

Wanna talk about it?

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"We're only staying together for the sake of our marriage guidance counsellor."

"Try a danged head shot!"

'Will I still be married?'

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

"Oh c'mon, Phil. Everyone knows we only stay together for the giant tortoise."

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

"My wife is constantly invading my personal space. I think she gets it from her family."

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"I mean it this time Brian, it's either me or the jazz!"

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

'We don't text anymore.'

"We were so happy doc. . . but then she changed!"

'Choose, Fenwick ? me or corporatge clout.'

'Ever since we bought thet blasted water bed we've been drifting apart!'

'The only reason she keeps me is to rub out her bed wrinkles.'

'The only thing we have in common is that we're in love with the same woman.'

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

"Doc, she and I just don't understand each other any more...it's like we have different operating systems!"

"I need you, Roberta. Deep inside me there's a married man aching to get out."

"Well yes, I've been away for a long time, but you knew I worked on a Pirate Ship when we got married..."

"They're going through a bitter marriage."

"Quite frankly, I've had a gut-full of all his Shakespearean drama!"