Marriage Challenge Gifts

"My wife has been walking five miles a day. I think she's somewhere in the middle of Pennsylvania now."

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

Wanna talk about it?

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

'I told my wife she had to choose between me and that precious boat of her's. She called my bluff. Can I sleep on your couch?'

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"We're only staying together for the sake of our marriage guidance counsellor."

'Will I still be married?'

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"Oh c'mon, Phil. Everyone knows we only stay together for the giant tortoise."

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

'We don't text anymore.'

"We were so happy doc. . . but then she changed!"

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

'Choose, Fenwick ? me or corporatge clout.'

"Quite frankly, I've had a gut-full of all his Shakespearean drama!"

"Well yes, I've been away for a long time, but you knew I worked on a Pirate Ship when we got married..."

"I'm starting to believe that this relationship was doomed from the start...!"

"Yes, ma'am, we do take reservations...and what's your husband's name?"

'The only thing we have in common is that we're in love with the same woman.'

"I need you, Roberta. Deep inside me there's a married man aching to get out."

"Doc, she and I just don't understand each other any more...it's like we have different operating systems!"

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

"They're going through a bitter marriage."