Market Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'He's chasing the market.'

A fortune cookie for investors...you may lose your appetite for stocks.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

Why markets crash.

"When we changed the company name, the stocks went through the roof!"

Jumping Wall Street.

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"Market euphoria is at an all time high."

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

'Don't blame me, turkey - I've never been near Wall Street.'

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

"Today the market closed at exactly the right price, and all buyers and sellers were very happy."

Wall Street Investing.

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

"I was doing pretty well in the stock market until I discovered there were laws."

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

'Fresh eggs!'

Bull Riding on the Stock Market

'This drug treats 'stock market jitters' but a side effect is 'irrational exuberance'.'

"Today, the yen shot up on news it is spelled differently from the 'Yuan'."

"How much is the sign?"