Trade Humor Aficionado Gifts

"It sure is an amazing trade. I can't even skate, let alone play hockey."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"And where have you previously moused?"

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

'The Buck Stops Here.'

'Face it, we're never going to reach a consensus.'

Should not have put that suggestion in the suggestion box.'

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

TPP - Investor State Dispute Settlement

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

...The computer says you can handle 20 more work

'We're very proud of you, Jenkins. Keep up the good work.'

'She finally made employee of the month but she paid the ultimate price.'

Batsford doesn't suffer fools gladly.

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

'It's not fair. Women doing the same job I'm doing in this office are being paid more than I am!'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

Penguin