Market Pun Lover Gifts

'But, Pop ... I thought bears hibernated in the winter.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"Think about the honey."

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'And in conclusion...'

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

"Yes, the market did advance this week, Rebecca, but we feel it's somewhat of a 'dead-cat bounce.'"

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

Literate Dogs.

Hotness

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

"I can't log-on. Some-one disabled cookies."

'He's chasing the market.'

'You give me goose bumps!'

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

'Can I help? You bet your bottom dollar I can.'

'Well, call it 'diet stocks'. Your bank account won't get fat because of the dividend income.'

Larry's Literary Market.

Weather forecast

The static electric eel is very rare.

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."