Market Pun Lover Gifts

'But, Pop ... I thought bears hibernated in the winter.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"Think about the honey."

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'I am on a diet! It's called the Wall Street diet. I invested in British Airways, and the first day I lost 500 pounds.'

'And in conclusion...'

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

"Yes, the market did advance this week, Rebecca, but we feel it's somewhat of a 'dead-cat bounce.'"

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

Hotness

Literate Dogs.

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

"I can't log-on. Some-one disabled cookies."

'He's chasing the market.'

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

'Well, call it 'diet stocks'. Your bank account won't get fat because of the dividend income.'

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

Weather forecast

'You give me goose bumps!'

The static electric eel is very rare.

Larry's Literary Market.

'Can I help? You bet your bottom dollar I can.'