Language Pun Lover Gifts

"Quick call the Poisson Control Center!!"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"Think about the honey."

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'And in conclusion...'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Hotness

Literate Dogs.

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

"I can't log-on. Some-one disabled cookies."

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'

Larry's Literary Market.

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

Hell's Schlegel

Weather forecast

'You give me goose bumps!'

The static electric eel is very rare.

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

The Big Cheese