Linguistic Pun Lover Gifts

Not So Speedy Gonzales.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

"Think about the honey."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

'And in conclusion...'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Literate Dogs.

Hotness

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'

Weather forecast

The static electric eel is very rare.

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

Hell's Schlegel

'You give me goose bumps!'

Larry's Literary Market.

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

The Big Cheese

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

Pavement artist.