Maritime Disaster Enthusiast Gifts

'Petersen, you're fired!'

'A team meeting in 20 minutes seems appropriate.'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

Captain steering house through flood.

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

Lighthouse Beam.

Fish or Cut Bait

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

"Can I interest you in a great white?"

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"He's a keeper!"

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

'Of course I brought the emergency flares.'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

"Call me Ishmael."

Distractions.

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

The Difficulties of Transporting Boats

Rats deserting a sinking ship

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

'Honey, did you bring the anti-nausea pills?'

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'