Maritime Disaster Aficionado Gifts

"It's so huge that calling it 'Ark' somehow didn't seem to do it justice."

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

Captain steering house through flood.

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

Lighthouse Beam.

"Entweder Fisch oder Fleisch"

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

"He's a keeper!"

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

"Can I interest you in a great white?"

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

'Of course I brought the emergency flares.'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

'Honey, did you bring the anti-nausea pills?'

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

On the plus side, I'd wager a lot of you folks back there had never seen an iceburg up close before.

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

Rats deserting a sinking ship

Set sail

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

"Call me Ishmael."

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

Ever Given

Distractions.