Maritime Disaster Aficionado T-Shirts

"It's so huge that calling it 'Ark' somehow didn't seem to do it justice."

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

Captain steering house through flood.

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

Fish or Cut Bait

Lighthouse Beam.

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

"Can I interest you in a great white?"

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"He's a keeper!"

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

'Of course I brought the emergency flares.'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

Distractions.

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

Rats deserting a sinking ship

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

"Call me Ishmael."

The Difficulties of Transporting Boats

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

On the plus side, I'd wager a lot of you folks back there had never seen an iceburg up close before.

'Honey, did you bring the anti-nausea pills?'