Marital Conflict Enthusiast Gifts

"Did you finally come to an agreement with your wife? Or am I opening old wounds?"

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

So all is not rosy in the garden?

Russia's Ukrainian Ambitions.

Kindly readers, our resident counselor, Sadie Cohen, will be answering actual questions sent to her via email. Prepare to get an earful of wisdom! Dr. Sadie, I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman who I wish to marry but am still reeling from my first marriage scares me. How do I get over that fear? Signed, Fearful in Salt Lake City. Fear is a worthless emotion. It doesn't help at all. What you should be feeling is terror. Run for your life.

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

Lady Justice Balances A Marriage Quarrel

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

"I married for contrast."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'

Gender Symbols

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

'Well, if you insist on using logic I see little point in continuing this argument.'

'Let's face it, we never got along. I'm just sorry it had to come to this.'

"The orgasms were real. But I faked the kids."

"This could get nasty..."

Wake up! You're hogging all the nails again.

"Mother, take your time, I know this isn’t easy for you. But this is an important moment in our lives, so I will ask you one more time, what on earth did you do with my old comic books?!"

"Why, it's a little piece of red yarn! Oh Harold, you always know JUST what to get me."

"Well. Firstly, I can't take the case because I'm not a divorce lawyer and secondly, I'm your husband."

"Now, if something happens to your marriage, do you want do-not resuscitate?"

"I went ahead and got married without knowing the possible side effects."

"That's Stuart and Vivian Muntner. They're a one-marriage family."

"I agreed to 'for better' and 'for worse,' but never to 'for mysterious' and 'withholding'."

'Don't blame the King, Ma'am. This was all his divorce lawyer's idea.'

"Well, Pook, here's to one old marriage that just won't go away."