Marital Spat Enthusiast Gifts

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

"What do you mean I never take you anywhere? We're here, aren't we?"

'My wife likes it when I help out in the kitchen.'

Diplomacy

"Let's just drop it, Andrew, and leave it to future historians to decide which of us was right."

"No heroic measures."

"You never tell me you love me." "I told ya' once. I'll let you know if anything changes."

"Would it kill you to help around the house for once?!"

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

'Well, if you insist on using logic I see little point in continuing this argument.'

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

'He's probably charming the pants off your receptionist'

"Is that your answer for everything...fold in a stick of butter?"

"'Till death do you part?"

"You're welcome. Glad you like them."

"I now pronounce you guilty."

'Don't blame the King, Ma'am. This was all his divorce lawyer's idea.'

"Now, if something happens to your marriage, do you want do-not resuscitate?"

"I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out this way."

'You're in my light!'

'I can't go on like this Wilfred - you've changed so - You're no longer the man I married.'

'When did your role as husband become mainly ceremonial?'

"Honey, I'm home."

'My wife and I have single beds, mine in London and hers in Lincoln.'

'They have TWO trees!'

'Surprised she's getting married again. In lieu of wedding gifts, she's asking for donations to help retain a divorce lawyer.'

"My husband's lost some interest...can you tattoo me into a giant remote control?"