Marital Spat Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"What do you mean I never take you anywhere? We're here, aren't we?"

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

Diplomacy

'My wife likes it when I help out in the kitchen.'

"Let's just drop it, Andrew, and leave it to future historians to decide which of us was right."

"No heroic measures."

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

"You never tell me you love me." "I told ya' once. I'll let you know if anything changes."

"Would it kill you to help around the house for once?!"

'Well, if you insist on using logic I see little point in continuing this argument.'

"You're welcome. Glad you like them."

'Don't blame the King, Ma'am. This was all his divorce lawyer's idea.'

"'Till death do you part?"

'He's probably charming the pants off your receptionist'

"Is that your answer for everything...fold in a stick of butter?"

"Now, if something happens to your marriage, do you want do-not resuscitate?"

'What I hate most is coming home and having all those damn Harleys parked in my driveway!'

Wake up! You're hogging all the nails again.

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

"I now pronounce you guilty."

"I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out this way."

'You're in my light!'

"Honey, I'm home."

'I can't go on like this Wilfred - you've changed so - You're no longer the man I married.'

'When did your role as husband become mainly ceremonial?'

'They have TWO trees!'

'My wife and I have single beds, mine in London and hers in Lincoln.'

'Surprised she's getting married again. In lieu of wedding gifts, she's asking for donations to help retain a divorce lawyer.'