Manure Mavens Gifts

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

The Cattle show Week.

Lady in Card Shop sees Sympathy Cards section with 'Bear Market', 'Falling Dollar' and 'Inflation' categories.

"It's your ribs. I'm afraid they're delicious."

"This doesn't have anything to do with the falling price of oil, does it?"

"Yes, the migration flight home is always faster, but it's thanks to the prevailing winds, not just because we're keen to get home..."

Behind the cow is a manure castle. 'Yeah...It's a gift.'

"It's a sprain in your left porterhouse."

"I was going to transmute it into gold, and then I read that the base metal market has made a remarkable recovery!"

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

'I envy your metabolism.'

Will work for manure.

'I made a list of bikes I want to look at today. You may want to eat before we go, as this may take awhile.'

'Pss-st, Harley-Davidson is up one-and-a-quarter...pass it on.'

Stunning politeness.

"All you had to do was ASK us to leave!"

'Leave me alone. I'm resting my steak.'

Napa, Bellevue, McLeon

Wall Street .

"Fix it so it'll stream out behind, Pierre. I've been assigned to a motorcycle detail."

"I'm a local craftsperson - I make money."

"This is it! The perfect turkey!"

"Of course I enjoy being slaughter."

"Are you playing footsie with me?"

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

"Why do all butlers say m' lud at the end of every sentence!"

'If my phone is a smart phone, is your wall phone a dumb phone?'

Save the Humans.

'Would you mind throwing out some of your spare motorcycle parts? I'd like to park my car in the garage.'

Curve in the road