Municipal Maven Gifts

Fishy Business: Federal Grant Money

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"Like that?"

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

Hooray for Bollywood!

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

Look on the bright side...they'll probably name a disease after you.

The sunglasses.

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'Well, we're off for our xmas break - I'm sure you can manage without us for a couple of weeks.'

Carbon Dating

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

"Call me Ishmael."

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

The Exhibition at the Royal Academy

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

The hall of bad ideas.

Pigeons fly into an art museum and perch on sculptures.

Vaccine hurdles

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

'We're trying to use a team approach to medicine, but we're having trouble fitting everyone!'