Manipulation Artist Gifts

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

"Eres la chica mas linda del mundo."

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

'Tell them there'll be no retaliation, then check with the chiefs of staff, the media and our major allies what leeway we have in the adapted dissuasion department.'

"I should have know he was a control freak when he seduced me in his signal box."

"A huge breakthrough from our research and development team. . . they've figure out a way to fool all of the people all of the time!"

"Someday all these anonymous accounts will belong to shell companies of which you will deny all knowledge."

Tate Modern: Turbine Hall

"I'm your exit strategy."

"Boy, the eyes really follow you around the room."

Multitasking

'Hold' (an interpretative dance)

'You used foul and offensive language when addressing your computer. Well....we've all done that.'

'A spin doctor just isn't enough any more, Senator - you need a choreographer.'

Hypnotherapy: prices subject to change without conscious notice.

'He's been trying to control the television for years.'

'I'm in P.R. This is where I keep the spin.'

'Wow, now there's a talented mime artist; he really looks like he's falling.'

Sally, Jim - you'll handle daily speech writing. Vince, as usual, will be in charge of attack ads.'

Spin doctor arriving at an emergency.

'It might help with our friends in the media if you hang that upside down.'

Fishermen with no catches are told that there were lots of fish caught a few days earlier

Moving Target

'I made it to the top the old-fashioned way. I recorded my ex-husband's inappropriate remarks, then blackmailed him.'

Bob has the psychic power to convince others that he thinks he's invisible.

'The government focus group found the 'suicide' concept too depressing...so they want to refer to it as an 'after-life opportunities programme'!'

Ernie McKelvey, moments before his life is touched by scandal.