Financial Manipulator Gifts

"Someday all these anonymous accounts will belong to shell companies of which you will deny all knowledge."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

Propping up a profits chart.

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

'Reminds me of how I balance your pay packet each week!'

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

"Well, now it's been explained to you, 'Market Share' does not mean we want to share the market."

"I'm in here...reallocating Dad's retirement account into junk bonds."

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

'Denied?...but it's my last one.'

'May I leave early today, Sir? The market is down and my wife is alone...'

'Don't jump Pumroy! Just remember: today's frantic selling can quickly become tomorrow's frantic buying.'

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

Man goes from instant cash machine to instant spending.

'You think I'M stressed out... wait till this check BOUNCES.'

"Rest assured we invest your money as if it were our own. Can I borrow 50 bucks?"

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

'I need you to reassure the investors. Can you keep a straight face?'

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

'I helped write the new tax code and even I don't understand it.'

'I've been through your tax return and for the minute there's nothing to worry about.'

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

"It would appear that our 'rainy day investment fund' hasn't even yielded enough to buy us an umbrella each."

"Hi! I am on the rails!"

"Will that be debit or debt?"

"This is why I don't want you doing our taxes anymore."

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

'Freddie, the Little Merger Mogul, didn't expect to have a monopoly right away...'

'We're pretty sure we've got all the right figures, we're just not sure what order to put them in!'

'The bank want to be sure that I don't vanish and forget the loan repayment...'

'Poor me. . . pour me a drink!'

"I feel that just as as I think I can make ends meet, someone moves the ends!"